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Sep. 1st, 2011

(no subject)

My husband is the best husband ever.

We had so much fun last night. Talking, laughing, crying, sexing. Life is good. :)

Jul. 27th, 2011


It sucks going to bed alone, but Randy won't get off of the damn computer.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.


Jun. 8th, 2011

(no subject)

Randy had a rough day yesterday. I bought him a book he had been wanting (it was on clearance too!) and some dinner. We watched an episode of our new favorite show Dexter while we ate. After dinner, Randy told me thanks for cheering him up. I'm happy I cheered him up. I like taking care of Randy and doing nice things for him. :)

(no subject)

Two new people joined the guild last night. One of them after seeing our website. That's awesome. I don't have a lot of time to put into it, but I try to help Randy with it by making it banners and keeping an eye on the forum.

I started a new character, a Warlock. I keep calling it a Warrior. Randy laughs at me when I do that. It's level 15 now. It's like my hunter because I can shoot things from far away, but it's better than my hunter because my shooting still works up close. I hope I like this character. I got so frustrated with my druid, I stopped paying her at level 30-something. Now, my hunter seems to be stuck eternally at level 71.5.

My hip has been hurting for like a week now. Is it the humidity? Nevada is having humidity right now, which is uber-rare. When I lived in Arkansas, I was in constant pain and when I moved to Nevada, it gradualy went away for the most part. I worry when Randy and I move back to Texas that it will start hurting again, that it's the humidity that does it.

Jun. 1st, 2011

Interesting studying Phil210

"The commandment against adultery is... primarily a property law... To murder is to take unlawful possession of another person's body; to commit adultery is to disregard a man's right to the sole possession of his wife; and to steal is to take unlawful possession of another person's goods."

Experiencing the World's Religions. Molloy. 5th edition. Page 307.

May. 27th, 2011

Writer's Block: Spellbound

If you could get your hands on a talent duplicator machine, whose talents would you want, and why?

I'd want Sue Lee's voice and Leslie Katich's mad piano playing skills. Also, Evelyn Ford's cooking talents. I love to sing and want to be able to give the time and effort it takes to be good at it. I want to learn how to read music, to sight sing. I've always wanted to play the piano. I can plink, play some very basic songs, but I'd love to be better. Again, time is an issue. And cooking, I want to be able to feed my Randy the good food he deserves instead of stuff outta the box.

Writer's Block: Revenge of the midnight movie

What is your favorite cult film, and why?

The Rocky Horror Picture Show!

It's fun to dress up and wear makeup, dancing half-naked across the stage, shouting audience participation lines. :)

May. 17th, 2011

(no subject)

 Yesterday Randy got sent home early from work because he might be let go. In this economy, we knew it was a possibility. They will have the final decision on who stays and who goes by Wednesday. I hope he stays.

My work is also cutting people. Our department will get a budget cut of 72% at the fiscal year, resulting in massive layoffs. We don't know yet who goes and who stays. I hope I stay.

If one of us goes... we'll lose the apartment and my car. If both of us go... that'd really suck.

People say that God only gives us what we can handle. People say that they wish God didn't believe in them as much as He must to be doling out the life problems that He is. I am now agreeing with those people-- haha. Work is insane, school difficult, marriage on the rocks. 
I need to learn some stress management techniques that don't involve consuming massive amounts of chocolate. :)

May. 14th, 2011

(no subject)

I tried to tell Randy that I didn't want him dictating what I can/can't write about in my own journal.
That writing is important to me and that it helps me to be a better person, to feel better after getting out what's bothering me.

I tried to tell him that the last time he barred me from expressing myself on Livejournal the way I wanted to was when he was hiding me from his family and friends because he was still dating Janell and was telling people he was moving to Reno to find a job.

He was telling me he was single, that he loved me, that he was moving out here to Reno for me. Many of his family/friends still don't know what he did to Janell and I. Many of them still don't know that he moved out here for me. He won't tell them that he did.

I'm still some big, dirty secret and we're married now.

I want to know what he's up to that he has to hide me from the world again. I tried to tell him that I feel controlled, silenced and suspicious. He didn't care how I felt. He threw a fit till I locked the entries and then he said this on Google Chat:

Randy: go away
don't want anything to do with you

When I first married him, I rejoiced at how unlike my ex he was. About how he was nice, responsible, trustworthy. Now, I'm sick to my stomach because all of those positive things I used to see in him are disappearing. I want nice-Randy back. Where did he go? I don't understand.

(no subject)

 Randy is being mean today.

He wants me to lock all of my LJ entries that make him look bad. He broke my heart. He did something incredibly stupid that many people would have just gotten a divorce over instead of trying to make it work. I'm trying to make it work. And when I write about it, I'm very discrete. Hey something was wrong and now it hurts and we're trying to fix it. 

But that's not good enough for him. I think it sucks that he broke my heart and I have to engage in a massive coverup about  it. Family, friends, church and now the internet... No one is allowed to know.

How about this? If you don't want people to know you did it, DON"T DO IT. 

Ugh. It's hard for me to cope with the pain of what happened when I'm not even allowed to talk about it. 


So if you can't see entries you previously could, blame Randy.
And if you wanna deny me from joining communities because I don't have any public entries, blame Randy for that too. 

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